I’m so excited to learn that Antropologie (my guilty pleasure and constant inspiration) will be unveiling a bridal line! The whimsical rustic fashion you’ve come to know and love in their stores has created a new brand, BHLDN, that will be showcasing fashionable fancies for weddings that hearken to our favorite colors, styles, and statements that Anthropologie is known for though the new brand is independent of the Anthropologie stores and online store. The line will feature not only fashion but additional textiles such as invites, decorations, glasswear, and more! I love the JCrew wedding line because they are different, playful, and modern and now I can’t wait to see what the neo-vintage BHLDN will be bringing to brides as an alternative to bridal salons and prom-esque bridesmaids dresses! Stay tuned, they launch this Valentines day!

As wedding etiquette tends to be one of the more frequent topics that come in to play the closer we get to planning the details of the reception, I’d like to share some practical (and traditional) advise for escort cards and place cards. First off, the two may seem indistinguishable, but – suprise –  they aren’t. Escort cards (sometimes also knows as butler cards) are addressed cards directing guests to their table. If you’re only having assigned tables and not assigned seats, you can quit right there! Escort cards are all you’ll need.

Escort Cards can be addressed to individuals or couples; however, as with invitations, “ladies first” does not apply(see examples). These cards should be alphabetized based on LAST name and then by FIRST. Depending on formality, you may drop the Mr./Mrs./Miss/Master before each name or keep it. Here, like this:

Bob Barnard

Chris Barnard

Judy Chin

Frances Dover

Mr. and Mrs. Tom Elegan or Tom Elegan preceded by Aimee Elegan

Mr. and Mrs. Frank Henry or Frank Henry followed by Gretta Henry

In a situation of +1 (and you don’t know the name of your guest’s +1), list the “guest of” directly after your guest’s name, like this:

Karen Jaccobsen

Guest of Karen Jaccobsen

or Mrs. Karen Jaccobsen and Guest (if you are coupling, and not giving each individual a card)

With children, if you decide to couple your escort cards, the child’s name would be located directly after his/her parents, like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Tom Gold

Master Johnny Gold

vs

Johnny Gold

Terese Gold

Tom Gold

Last little comment on escort cards: if you have a small enough guest count, feel free to go with first names only (denoting duplicates by last name initial), alphabetize then by first name of course.

Place cards, on the other hand, are the individual cards that exist at each guests assigned seat. They are required if you intend to have a seating chart with assigned seats, not just tables. Can you have place cards without escort cards? Sure, but you’ve got to make sure you have table assignments posted in some other form (a large poster board, etc), otherwise it will feel like musical chairs as guests wander aimlessly hoping to happen upon their own sought-after seat…not to mention waste a ton of time at the beginning of your reception.

Place cards should always be full first and last names (or Guest of… if you do not know their name) and placed at each individual’s seat – so no worrying about alphabetizing there!

Joey Nicole captured this intimate moment as father walks daughter down the aisle…

As if this role wasn’t hard enough on a man with the emotional breakdowns of daughters and mothers and the agreement that sometimes writing the checks doesn’t give you the right to input, at the end of the day he has to walk his little girl down the aisle! And then comes the toast…

It can be a daunting task, emotional and painstaking in preparation. While I can’t advise on how to reign in the women of the house when it comes to their adamant request to have doves released at the ceremony or 12 foot floral elephants at the reception, I CAN give you fathers out there a leg-up on your speech writing. How much can you dote on your daughter? What are you expected to say about the Groom? Read on, readers.

I’ll break it down outline style:

• Welcoming and thanking guests {15-20%}
• Praise the new couple (usually commenting on how happy they make each other, how well they work together, the positive things about them marrying, etc.) {25%}
• This leads in to welcoming the Groom’s  family in to yours {5%}
• The majority of the rest of the speech may be about the Bride (anecdotes, love, well-wishes, advice, praise, etc.) {approx 45-50%}
• Finally, raise your glass to the couple!  {5%}

It’s a start 🙂

When does being engaged start to feel like reality and not just a label? Sending out your save-the-dates, invitations, and announcements is often that pivotal moment when you go from being the engaged couple to the couple that is actually getting hitched! It’s big news, and those few words you send out to family, friends, and other intended guests can really set the tone for your wedding.
This could easily be one of those times when you feel you need to dig deep in your pockets, after all, it’s the first order of business your guests will see regarding that special day. Don’t fret! There are countless options out there to save you money without skimming style from your wedding announcements, and I am going to share with you my favorite one of all (I also think it’s the coolest, in my humble opinion).
Enter Moo Cards. This artsy, modern, and environmentally conscious company started in the UK and now has its own U.S. site as well. “But those look like business cards,” you muse. Ah, but look closer. Yes, business cards they are indeed…but have you ever seen such lovely, creative, quality business cards as those? Perhaps so, and IF SO, you may have thought it be a waste to limit such a product to living in the lining of wallets everywhere. I love Moo Cards for save-the-dates, invites, announcements, thank yous, and even name cards or wedding favor gift tags. The site offers several options in creating cards (business card wallet size, skinny-mini cute cards, postcards, etc.) and you can either load your own photos (think engagement sessions or early photos of you as a couple) on to the front, while jotting all the important information on the back (date, time, place, etc.). They also offer many of their own designs in the “Ready Made” packs (see these orthese ). Moo Cards allow you to combine multiple pictures or designs per order, in case you can’t pick just one pic of you and yours. Added bonus: they use environmentally friendly products and recycled papers. Friends and family will love to see the unique way you’ve included them in your upcoming wedding, and the best part….they’re cheap! I’m a big fan of the “MiniCards”, and they start at 19 cents a card, going down from that. Check them out, get creative, and give your budget a break!

Planning events involves a lot of moving parts. Like an engine, each moving part is integral to its overall success. When you’re dealing with an unreliable or faulty piece, it doesn’t matter how successfully the other parts are humming along and doing their job, the thing is just broken. The same theory applies to events…unfortunately. Instead of a rusty cog or a sputtering fuel pump, you may find that a flakey vendor or sketchy venue is the reason your event machine isn’t chugging along at optimal performance. Buyer beware! If you encounter any squeaky wheels or unsettling thumping noises, you may want to give your event a thorough check-up before the little problems lead to a total breakdown on the side of the road in the town of “Oh S#*%!”.

The Written Word: Not only is it important to read a contract thoroughly before you sign, but it is important to have one to read. Some vendors may tell you they don’t expect you to sign contracts and that your word is good enough. While it sounds harsh, you don’t have to have the trust in them that they may have in you. Get it in writing! The more you have written down and agreed upon by both parties, the more protected you are from last minute woopsies like, “ I didn’t know you wanted the band to bring their own speaker system,” or “The event started at 8pm, we didn’t know you’d want to be in here earlier than that.” It sounds silly, but anything you think may be implied or obvious ISN’T, unless it’s in writing. This goes for working with friends and family, too: while Aunt Martha is an amazing florist, she may not be feeling up to the task of the 100 centerpieces she promised you last month, and since you’re family, assumes you’ll understand when she shows up with only 50 instead. A well thought out email agreed upon by both parties, or signed letter of agreement will go a long way in covering your buns (and ensure that both parties know what is expected of them). If nothing else, sometimes it takes another set of eyes to correct a contract, and they’ll be grateful!

Flakes are for Breakfast: We all understand that artists contribute their gifts to the world of event planning in ways we never could achieve on our own, from beautiful drapery and lighting, to creating an entire beach themed evening complete with sand, surf soundtrack, and the smell of Coppertone sunscreen being pumped through the vent system. We are truly grateful for so many creative minds, but leave your manners at the door if you’re dealing with a vendor that you can’t count on to even return your phone calls within the week. In a service industry, the person who pays gets all the say, and vendors would be smart to recognize and respect their source of income. Punctuality in responses, detail in requests, and ability to communicate are the Three Golden Rules for those in the event industry. If you can’t trust your photographer to remember the date of your event every time you speak, don’t trust him to show up on time. A vendor should help ease the stress of the event, not add to it by missing appointments, forgetting details, and being generally spacey.

GUTS: Trust ‘em! Aside from the above two suggestions, your instinct is the best decision-maker you have. If things keep changing, if contracts keep being re-written, if phone calls go unanswered, or if you just plain get that skeptical sketchy feeling when you meet them for the first time, GET OFF THE TRAIN! Going with your gut feeling from the start will set the tone of trust you’ll want to have moving forward with your event.

It’s scary to pull out or make changes last minute, but believe me, the stress of finding a better option late in the game is better than the stress of a failed event. If you have to jump ship with a vendor in exchange for a life boat, it’s better than going down with the ship!

Tipping is tricky! Especially in the case of weddings, the 15-20% rule is hardly applicable. In most cases that’s really good news because your standard wedding services sure aren’t in the restaurant or hair salon price-range.

From me to you: A (fairly) Comprehensive Guide in A-to-Z Order

Banquet Manager/Venue Coordinator – $100+ Depending on the size and complexity of the wedding and on their involvement (more without a wedding planner, less with one) a personal gift or $100-$200 is custom

Bartender – $50+ Like Catering Staff, this may be included in the contract, but if not, $50-$75 is appropriate (depending on the size of the wedding and the hours worked)

Catering Staff – 0-20% This is usually INCLUDED in your contract, so do read it; however, if you feel certain staff members have gone above and beyond, feel free to tip those an extra $20-50 dollars at the end of the night. IF gratuity is NOT included in your bill it may be safe to calculate 20% of the total to be split between all staff.

Chef – $100+ Again, if the chef is not part of the catering contract or company, a gratuity of $100 is appropriate, especially if this is a specialty chef performing for an intimate party or cooking something very unique to the event

Coat-room Attendant – $0-$2 per guest Most of the time if an attendant is provided by your venue or catering staff his gratuity is included in his hourly pay; if not, then a flat fee of $2 per guest is accurate

DJ – $50+ Tipping between $50 is customary but if they blow your socks off or end up DJ-ing the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception, you may want to tip more

Hair, Makeup, Nails – 18%

Musicians – 15% Tipping 15% of the total fee is customary to split between musicians; however, if there were many requests or you were blown away by the performance you may want to tip $25 per member of the group

Parking Attendants – $2 per car Check to be sure that your parking contract does not already include this fee, most do

Photographer – $100 For extraordinary service if they are offering you a flat rate and no overtime fees

Tailor – 10% This is often overlooked, as your tailor is usually long gone by the time your wedding day rolls around, but feel free to reward their hard work on your dress or tux if they’ve been awesome to work with

Transportation – $25 or 18% For van or shuttle drivers this is standard, but for limo drivers 18% is appropriate

Wedding Planner – $50+ Depending on how involved your planner was, or how great the service, $50-$150 is customary

Please remember that gratuity shows gratitude – If you feel like your vendors deserve a little extra love, feel free to pile it on…BUT, if you were underwhelmed, don’t feel obligated to tip on poor service!

One of the most important tools a wedding planner has in her arsenal to avoid any speed bumps on the day of your wedding is the famed Emergency Kit. Because we like you, we’d like to spill the beans on what “save-the-day” odds and ends we keep in ours. Here they are, in no particular order, The Soup to Nuts Wedding Day Emergency Kit Checklist:

Mini-first aid kit including aspirin, antacids, Gas-X, Midol, and decongestants (no aching, bloating, farting, or sniffling through your ceremony). Also don’t forget Band-aids, New Skin, and alcohol swabs!

Breath mints

Fashion tape (that wonderful, clear, doublesided bra strap tape)

Baby wipes

Q-tips

Blow dryer, brush, comb, and hairspray

Extra pairs of black sox (save your Best Man the embarrassment of Nike tube socks peeking out between dress shoes and tux cuffs)

Clear nail polish (great for stopping runs in stockings!)

Nail glue and emery board

Contact lenses, contact case, contact solution, and eye drops (both for non-contact wearers and contact wearers)

Earring backs

Some of every pin (bobby, safety, straight, clothes)

Extra stockings

Scotch tape, push pins, and scissors

Tweezers

Razor with extra blades

Deodorant

White Chalk (it is a life-saver for removing lipstick from white collars or dresses)

Studs, collar stays, cuff-links

Straws (essential for drinking and retaining perfectly lipsticked lips)

Tampons and sanitary napkins (God, please don’t forget those, there are lots of women at weddings!)

Wine-Out (the best invention of the 21st century!)

Mini-sewing kit with at least black and white thread

…and finally….

Copies of all delivery and vendor schedules and important names and numbers (of both the wedding party and the vendors)

WHEW! It may sesm extensive, but in truth these things are all pretty tiny and don’t take up much room. Most wedding planners will bring a similar kit to your wedding. Feel free to find out what goodies they keep in theirs to be sure you’re all covered. If you don’t have a planner, a medium tackle box, large make-up box, or small gym bag should suffice in fitting all the essentials! Trust us, you may not need to even open the Emergency Kit, but on the off chance that you do, you’ll be super happy you had it!